For the longest time, I thought I was living in a distributing permutation of the story of the hare and the tortoise. Except in this version, the hare had a headstart. The hare was obviously faster. And the hare never rested. I, a humble tortoise, had no hopes of catching up.
This was what I felt like when I first got to Berkeley. The purpose of these âracesâ wasnât even to win. I wasnât trying to beat anyone. I just wanted to be an equal â to be just as good as the next person. In everything, howveverâ learning, internships, classes, teaching, fitness, health, socializing â I felt like I was so behind.
Yes, I know this is Impostor Syndrome. Yes, I know that my image of my own skill-level is often inaccurate. Yes, I know that I shouldnât be comparing my journey with other peopleâs. Knowing all of these did not help me. I still spent so much of my time at this university with the sinking feeling that I wasnât cut out for this.
There was an increasingly small number of things I believed I excelled at. No matter what else I was doubtful about, I was confident in two of my skills: 1. I am excellent at working hard. I can pour an insane number of hours into a mission or a goal. I donât feel the effects of diminishing marginal returns as strongly as other people do. 2. I am excellent at acquiring and retaining knowledge, as well as connecting different blocks of information in my head. I can spend a long time diving deep into a field, subject, or task â I do not shy away from a firehose of information like many people do.
These became my accelerators.
Letâs go back to our corrupt hare and tortoise story, but add one exception â the tortoise can accelerate faster than the hare. Give the hare a headstart by 20km. Say the hareâs present velocity is 30km/h, compared to the tortoiseâs velocity of 3km/hour. Now, say that the hareâs acceleration is 2m^2/hour, while the tortoiseâs is 4m^2/hour. How long before theyâre at equal footing?
28 days. It takes less than a month for the tortoise to catch up, despite every disadvantage. Go ahead and make it as bad as you want for the tortoise. Give him zero initial velocity. Give the hare a massive headstart, make the acceleration differential tiny. As long as the race is infinitely long, the tortoise will catch up.
I think of myself as this tortoise. I have a couple of accelerators, that help me pick up pace as I keep going at buliding a skill. Every day I wake up, I try to push myself a little bit harder than the previous day, feel the acceleration a little bit more. It just takes time, but it does take time. There is no miracle cure to being amazing. There is only ways to get better and better.
You donât need to be the best. You donât even need to be good. All you need to be is accelerating, and youâll find yourself matching anyoneâs skill level in due time.